My life is comprised of a series of allergic reactions.
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miamibluepools asked: Hey i like your pic. Nice tattoos...

Thanks! 

Always Owen. 

Always Owen. 

(Source: theaccretion, via theaccretion)

I ate 23 dollars worth of Panera today.

THIS IS WHY I CAN’T HAVE DAYS OFF. 

I ate 23 dollars worth of Panera today.

THIS IS WHY I CAN’T HAVE DAYS OFF. 

Case Study No. 21


This legit makes me wet. 

Case Study No. 21

This legit makes me wet. 

(Source: continuarte, via hellobeatrice)

(Source: nespra, via zombiesociety)

I should have learned to smile properly. I don’t know how long I can get away with this shit eating grin/smirk that I do.
SOMEONE TEACH MY FACE TO BE A PROPER FACE. 

I should have learned to smile properly. I don’t know how long I can get away with this shit eating grin/smirk that I do.

SOMEONE TEACH MY FACE TO BE A PROPER FACE. 

Anonymous asked: I want to have sex with both your ass and your brain.

Like, at the same time?

Figure out the logistics of this and get back to me. 

Binging on some Peep Show today. 

(Source: onlybloodypeepshow, via leapofhate)

I really…

should get a medal or a high five for frequency/skill level of masturbating.

But they ain’t got no awards for that.

Trophies.

Check out this baby Kate. 

20 years old, dating a hippie, but showing butt stuff, because, butts. 

Check out this baby Kate. 

20 years old, dating a hippie, but showing butt stuff, because, butts. 

I’m feeling…

really antsy lately. 

All I want to do is go on really long runs. Maybe I miss playing an instrument. Maybe I’m homesick. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I’m satisfied. 

I’m laying naked in bed right now, and I should eat something because thats what humans do, but I’m not hungry. I’ll probably just violently masturbate to pictures of Harrison Ford from the late 70s.

I wonder if Harrison Ford feels girls exploding every few minutes to pictures of him. He must. 

Yes.

Yes.

(Source: morgantedd)

Anonymous asked: have you ever thought about doing porn and killing the game?

I’d be too good at it, and I’m not trying to start a revolution.

Plus, I’m trying to become a better whistler, and I just really feel I have to pick one or the other to focus my talents on.

Thanks for thinking I’d kill it. That’s nice.